Your Weekly CARoscope: Better than a Horoscope Because it’s About Cars, of Course.
A little while ago, the carologists at Mac James Motors conducted a very serious study to see which kind of cars are the best for a variety of different personalities. To all who participated, our carologists would like to pass on their genuine thanks! Thanks to you we now know a lot more about the car purchasers of Alberta and will be able to serve you better, moving forward. As a bonus, they’ve shared some more of their deeper results analysis with us.
To give you a full lay of the land, here’s a compilation of the initial results from everyone who participated:
- Chrysler LeBaron: 2%
- Ford Aerostar: 14%
- Hello Kitty Smart Car: 9%
- Delorean: 24%
- Taco Truck: 17%
- Bicycle: 16%
- Ferrari Testarossa 14%
- General Lee: 2%
- Monster Truck: 2%
On average, you people are far out. In the best way possible.
To go beyond the general (and not just the General Lee), the carologists took the data back to our in-house personologists (the edgier cousins of psychologists, twice removed) and asked them to see what they could glean about each of the people who chose the cars.
In summary: you told us your personality, we told you your car, now they will tell you even more about your personality. These are the new results they came back with; take a read and ponder over their revelations with us.
If your ideal car is the …
1990 Chrysler LeBaron
A car’s a car – no need for extras. If it has gas in the tank and the wheels are still on, you’re good to go. Oil changes and winter tires are for wussies. And so are kittens – if one gets in the way while you’re driving, that’s just one less useless thing in this world.
When you get hungry, which is often, your fridge is usually well stocked. Beer for breakfast, lunch, and dinner – and if you’re lucky, there might be some variety to that ale collection this week.
Your trusty Levis have served you well for as long as you can remember, and just like them you’re always in it for the long run. Practical, down to earth, and armed with your most comfortable running shoes, you take life in stride.
You aren’t phased by the small bumps along the road or the occasional (weekly) Canadian snow-day. Your Aerostar has an AWD option, so you’ll be just fine – as long as the kids get to school. You accept the reality of Dad Bod and embrace it. Why fight the inevitable? You’re mostly healthy anyways – with a good helping of delicious home cooked pasta 😉
Hello Kitty Smart Car
You are all about intelligent choices. You know you’ll never have to worry about those difficult parallel parking scenarios anymore because let’s face it – where won’t you fit? You’ve even got the diesel option for your lil’ machine because fuel mileage is on top of your car-shopping list, like the wise, conscientious shopper you are.
And when people ask if you miss the trunk space, you just let them know you’ve embraced the minimalist lifestyle – and decreased your carbon footprint. Basically, your level of enlightenment is reaching Vulcan. Live long and prosper, my friend.
Top 40? Honestly, your ears would probably fall off if you gave it a listen. Mainstream music, cars, and clothing are so pleb and not for you. You’re educated. You’ve read things. You like to think. Why wouldn’t you want a car that would let you travel in time? The only thing that might potentially be better is a Transporter Beam.
Your favourite comfort food is a fresh, well-made burger – fully loaded with the works, your closet is full of head-banger concert tees, and you take your science fiction pretty super seriously.
Disney had it right: following your heart and fulfilling your dreams, no matter how ridiculous they might seem to others, is definitely the most important part of life. You figured this secret out early and you’ll share the good news with others without skipping a beat – it has FREED you from the shackles of expectation.
Your taco truck is your dream and you are living it. You’re entrepreneurial, always well fed and never have a frown on that well-coiffed brow. Eat, live, and be merry!
Cars are overrated. You don’t have to pay for gas, insurance, car washes or parking. Nope, instead, your pedal to the organic store is helping you stay trim and improve your resting heart rate. Oh, and you’re not polluting either.
You’re above capitalism’s hidden agenda or buying into brand name cults, and you know packing your own lunch is always a better option than buying because your body is. a. temple. Good foreign-roasted pour over coffee, though – that’s something you will never sacrifice. Or your almond milk.
Your car game is on the same level as your sneaker game: woke AF. You’re charismatic and confident and expect quality output from your car, yourself, and the people around you. Your denim wardrobe is perfectly distressed to curate the perfect street vibe, your turntable was handmade in Japan, and your line up of Yeezys is always up to date in the latest colorways.
When you’re not parked outside that super underground shisha bar (they only take cash), you’re probably en route to your premium seats at the next Lakers game or heading to your parents’ vacation spot in the Hamptons.
You live by one simple rule: if it ain’t fun, you ain’t going. Your favourite things to do are late night drifting in empty parking lots, jumping over restricted fences, and hitting the ODR with the boys.
Chucks and a backward baseball cap is your usual go-to outfit, and your favourite comfort food will always be your mom’s signature casserole with a heaping pile of mashed potatoes. No vegetables, please and thanks.
You. Are. The. Boss. Well, at least for as much as possible. Work’s meh, and life’s life, but when you’re in your truck – nothing can go wrong. Being King of the Road is just too fun.
You love the deer head on your living room wall ALMOST as much as your Jack Daniel’s chest tattoo (besides the rose and thorn tattoo with your girl’s name), and your go-to drink is always a six-pack of Budweiser. Your pet peeve is pretty much anyone who tells you what to do. Roll over everything.
What do YOU want to see?
Find any universe-altering truths up there? Mac James and the Carologists want to know what you want to read next on the blog.
Car reviews? Quizzes? Let us know by filling out the form below:
What’s Next? Outwit the Shady Car Salesman
You know him, we know him: he’s the swindling thief of a car salesman who works at that dealership you never go to anymore. He’s greasy, manipulative and gives major side eye. Creepy moustache aside, he probably sugarcoats the facts, ignores your questions, and denies any allegations of being sketchy too.
Are you clever enough to outwit him?
Stay tuned for our next quiz to see if you’re up to the challenge.